Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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