Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize