I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize