So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
