I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just had sex bonerless
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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