margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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