sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
