Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
