how can u be prego again
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
