Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
