Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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