I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
