Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize