The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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