Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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