Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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