Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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