A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
