i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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