she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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