i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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