I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
