have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
