we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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