Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
