The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
