you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
