We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
