the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
do nipples grow back?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
