I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize