explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
