that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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