Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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