My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
