I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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