i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
