I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
