I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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