is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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