yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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