I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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