my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
