Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
