dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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