Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
In America we eat man semen.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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