And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
