We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
