3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
