Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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