it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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