Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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