it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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