he wants to bone in the snuggie
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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