Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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