Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
