Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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